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Thoughts on Masculinity

I feel that society’s definition of masculinity needs to expand to make space for both aggression and empathy. They are integral parts of being a healthy, well-adjusted man. The real key, which took me a lifetime to learn, is knowing when and how to engage them to make life better for yourself and those around you.

And much like the eastern concepts of yin and yang, one cannot exist without the other. You have darkness and light, aggression and empathy and the list goes on. They are all within, forever sliding across the spectrum based on life and circumstances. As quantum mechanics suggests, nothing in existence is static. Even in their lowest possible state, particles have zero-point energy. So, everything is moving, sliding, and becoming. We are all in this crazy dance together.

My journey to navigate conflicting characteristics and become more fully human has been a wonderfully wild ride. While it took nearly half a century and more than my fair share of defining experiences, I remain a traveler on the journey of learning to become my best self. It may seem counterintuitive, but the process of going inward after football expanded me outward. That is why the concept of Ubuntu resonates so deeply for me: I have become more fully human in the act of offering my light to others.

More on this topic and many others in my memoir, Aggressively Human, available here: Amazon: Aggressively Human. You can also request pesonalized copies via


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